CUTTING RIGHT TO THE CHASE



“Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage, I am expected to live my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most Important”
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

It’s been over six months since I last posted an article here, I might say I’ve been quite busy with school and work to balance a little bit but I could not let this moment in my Diary pass…… just like that.
So, last night my mother dreams that she is in a ceremony which happens to be my wedding introduction with every member of my family present including Aunty Milly and Aunty Loe who have taken quite some time since they were last in the country. She goes ahead and describes my supposed fiancé who ‘Anafanana na Bill (my big sister Yvonne’s Husband) but ni Mrefu’. I cannot control my laughter and she points out that ‘kuna kitu unajua ndio maana unacheka hivo ama kuna mtu anakaa hivyo na hautuambi’.  We at times call her a seer whenever she tells us of her dreams 99% happens a perfect example is my KCSE results I shout an “AMEN” to distract her off but I’m left thinking. Whenever such becomes a talk in an African Household you begin counting the number of days in your Father’s homestead instead.
What does the dating scene hold for me? With the harsh dating conditions in the city I wonder on the possible ‘husband chasing’ solutions for myself. This time round I know she is wrong. I mean… I don’t even have a boyfriend to begin with… how now will my introduction take palace in a flash? I’m not even sure if I myself aspire to get married. Hmmmmmmm very funny and quite interesting too that in two months three people are talking about the day ill finally leave the house.
I’ve always told my bestie ‘If you want Money Spend Money’, the idea being one of this fine days I’d go spoil myself in one of these posh restaurant preferably VIMA, then this young rich handsome man would come to in search of solace and ask to join my table and as they say the rest is history. Better Yet I’d ‘katia’ my crush and cross my fingers hopping that would be the first chapter in our storybook.
 But unfortunately for me the latter is a NO! NO! NO! For the Kenyan Men. I tried being a journalist for a day and asked my contacts their take supposing I went straight up and asked them out, say I was In love and wanted us guys to date. The responses were quite hysterical
‘kwani wewe umetumwa kuniua”
“Yes if all goes well coz siwezi loose chance ka hiyo”
“I would freak out…. I mean it’s not natural … I would think huyu akona motives na siyo poa”
“I won’t decline the offer coz it’s you….. But I’d love to know your intentions…”
 “I wouldn’t mind…. Times have changed and ladies are go getters”
“So long as I got feelings why not”
“Actually I’ll respect you more and take you seriously you look like you know what you want”
“Suggesting a date is better….. Makes me feel like I’m sort of in control”
“Personally I salute ladies who can do that”
“I would weigh options and see what could have made you approach me”
“I would be very happy and look forward to that”
“Awkward… As in we guys are biologically designed to find females it will seem desperate from her side”
“hahaaa I would be freaked out it looks wiered… you just don’t tell someone you love them lead them on… mimi ndo nataka kukukatia ndo nifeel poa siyo wewe”
Some responses were a bit encouraging but the majority were factored on the ‘motive behind’ the approach, Cant a girl just ask her man out  without questions. This prompted me to probe further... what hints do guys want to know I’m interested; Act extra friendly, laugh at all his jokes, hang out most time, text/call frequently, Show interest in everything he says or does, invite them for lunch (lol) so they’d get interested, compliment everything they do, flirt a lot, Be wifely and lastly Maintain sexy eye contact (I have no idea what this look is lest I end up looking like a clown).
Its strange how complicated we can make situations just to avoid showing our true feelings. I thought we women were very complicated till now, men officially take the title. We are in a modern world where my courage will be a boost to my Man’s Ego. I'm a Diva.... I don't have to shy off my feelings for the fear of judgement from my supposed 'Crush' and if I have to shrink myself to land a husband woe unto me its high time I bid my marriage dreams bye bye unless I plan to stick to my VIMA idea.
Can't this Kenyans men just adopt a little bit of civilizations and allow us to live our Queen Bee dreams. 
That said, hopes of cutting my chase soon seem like another long never ending affair but what more can I do though? HOPE DIES LAST. 
                   Don't call me Arrogant am just Confident.





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